Another Day

We're nearly two weeks down without my husband and I begin to wonder where all of this time has actually gone, it's starting to feel like there aren't enough hours in a day. We are finally settling into our routine without him being here although it still feels strange to sit down alone without him at night. There's a sudden excitement knowing that we are two weeks down but a sadness at wondering how much longer it really is until we get to see each other again. What seem's so far can also seem so close at the same time. Another day over with, another day closer to having the love of my life back in my arms. I miss him more and more every day and while it feels as though it gets easier day by day there are still times when I sit down and just burst into tears. Nobody ever said it would be easy, it's sure as hell right with that one but also nobody ever said we would get used to this heartache. I honestly believe the saying "You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it" I don't believe that any truer word could have been said. I find myself some days wondering whether I am actually strong enough to live this life, to go through all of these tours and endless worry that comes alongside it all but then I realise exactly why I do it.. Because I'm a very lucky lady to be in love with a soldier! I have someone who loves me for me, someone who knows that no matter what I will support them through whatever they decide, whether or not that means being away to better their own career. I'll always be to some people, "that woman who doesn't really see her husband" But you know what, I cherish every moment that I do see him and I remember throughout all of this just exactly what it is we have together.. A life, a life that means everything to us as a family.
A lot of people don't understand any of what we go through, as a wife or as our husbands on tour away from home for months at a time. Someone said to me today that if their husband was in the army and a chance for him to go on tour came up that they would be "kicking them out of the front door within seconds" so that they could better their child's life. Woah! Seriously?! This is a war we are talking about, anyone who "loves" their man truly, I can guarantee would NOT be kicking them out of the door in seconds to go on tour to which there's always that possibility that they may not return. Excuse me for not wanting to spend months apart from my husband, but that doesn't mean that we won't find other ways to better our child's life. It always makes me feel better to know that these people wouldn't last a day in our shoes.
I always sit down and think about how my man feels, how does he feel about being there and being away from us, what does he think about etc.. I guess this is something  I will never truly know, once we know about a tour coming up and once we get in the last couple of months before it he starts to shut himself off, not completely, but he doesn't talk about how he feels about it all. Maybe one day, after this is over, he will feel that he can open up about it. Maybe one day....